


The Monsters in Our Minds

by shadowblade_tara



Series: Nyctophilia [8]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Angsting, M/M, Nightmares, Sort of happy ending, Trauma, dan is a Good GuyTM, do i care, don't mind them, has this been done to death, i think this has been done to death, no, they'll get there in the end, venom is having an existential crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 03:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16864915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowblade_tara/pseuds/shadowblade_tara
Summary: Eddie still has the scars.  Venom still remembers.Klyntar do not have nightmares, but Venom does.





	The Monsters in Our Minds

Eddie still has the scars.

Not from the beatdown LIFE gave him. There’s a thin, jagged scar that runs about six inches down his sternum, and a matching one at a slight angle lower on his back. The scar used to look worse, used to be thick, ropy flesh that actually made it a little hard to breathe. Venom kept trying to heal it, and they only stopped when Eddie yelled at them for wasting energy when they were trying to heal as well.

He suspects they keep healing it, bit by bit, every night. Something that vicious-looking shouldn’t have faded away to almost nothing in just under six months. Still, he knows Venom hates the damn thing as much as they love the tattoo on his wrist. Symbiosis is a two-way street, and Venom isn’t the best at hiding their reaction to that particular scar. Eddie feels it every time he changes his shirt in front of a mirror.

Anger. Hatred. Shame. Guilt. That pervasive feeling of failure, the residual shock of terror the memory brings.

Eddie doesn’t pay attention to it if he can help it. He makes it a point to not think about the scar, or the memory of Riot impaling him. He doesn’t want to upset his other any more than necessary. 

He can’t control his dreams.

And Venom dreams, too, on the rare occasions when they sleep. 

The nightmares haven’t been coming as often anymore, but when they do, holy _shit_ they’re bad. The absolute worst ones are the times when Eddie and Venom are both dreaming.

Like tonight.

_No light no light nothing can’t be too late can’t be – the blade, straight through his chest – burning and falling and so much fire so much noise looking down at Eddie hoping **praying** that he survives – can’t breathe, blood filling his lungs, can’t move, last fading thought I failed them, they’re going to die without a host – won’t let go won’t let go why won’t he **let go** can’t let him die eyes dark no light no no **NEVER AGAIN –**_

Eddie wakes up with a strangled scream.

The sheets are tangled around him, damp and cold, and it takes him about 30 seconds to realize they aren’t Riot, trying to consume them both. He takes a shaky breath, struggling to get his heart rate down. Inside, he can feel Venom, hiding somewhere in his gut, a trembling mess of fear and shame.

Nightmares are normal for humans. They aren’t for symbiotes, and Eddie knows who started that.

“You okay?”

**Fine.**

“Liar.” He runs a hand through his hair before placing it just under his belly button. It feels like Venom has packed their entire body into as small a space as possible. It sits heavy, almost uncomfortable, but mostly it just makes Eddie ache for them. “Come on, V. It’s okay.”

Slowly, Venom manifests, wrapping themself around Eddie with their head resting on his shoulder. Eddie reaches up and places his hand on their head, feeling the smooth texture of their skin. He waits until the tremors have stopped and their heart rate has completely returned to normal before speaking.

“Better?”

**Yes.** Venom hides their face in Eddie’s neck. **Sorry. Made you scared.**

Eddie shakes his head carefully. It’s – not uncommon for Venom to refuse to look at him while they talk, but not in the safety of their apartment, and definitely not while manifested. It’s like they’re trying to protect him and hide from him at the same time, and that’s a hard thing to do. “Don’t worry about it, V. What triggered that? You haven’t had any nightmares in months – usually it’s my stupid brain giving us hell.”

The attempt at a joke falls a little flat, but he feels a pulse of appreciation from Venom at the sentiment. Still, they hesitate, but only for a moment.

There’s a gentle nudge in his mind, and he’s reminded of the epic beat-down LIFE gave him, this time with the extra layer of Venom’s helplessness on top of it. He cringes at that. Venom pulls back from their bond. **Sorry. Stupid of us.**

“Not really.” Eddie admits hoarsely. “Shit, V, I didn’t – “ But what’s he supposed to say? He can’t promise it will never happen again, and Venom wouldn’t believe him anyway. All he can do is turn his head and let it rest against Venom’s. “Don’t be ashamed of nightmares, okay? God knows I’m the last person to judge you for that.”

Venom doesn’t respond, but the knot of shame loosens enough for the two of them to settle again.

/---------/

Things get a little weird after that.

For the next three days, Venom is distant, hiding. They stay low, curled up in Eddie’s gut, and Eddie can’t quite shake the feeling that they’re hiding from _him._ It _hurts_ , more than he’s willing to admit.

He changed something, he knows it. His actions, forcing Venom into inaction, changed something in their dynamic. He’s the cause of the symbiote’s distress, and he _hates himself_ for that.

Dan winds up at his apartment, giving him a once-over, since he hasn’t come back to the hospital in the two weeks since the attack. Venom doesn’t even stir, not even to hiss at Dan like they normally would, and Eddie can’t quite keep his hands from shaking. Did he really screw things up that badly – again?

The doctor notices. “The tremors new?”

Eddie shakes his head. Thankfully, Anne isn’t there this time. She had a deposition to give. “No. Just anxious.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Eddie gives him a wry grin. “Am I being given a choice in the matter?” he teases, and Dan laughs as he sits down on the couch. “Before you start making me embarrass myself, what’s the diagnosis?”

“All bones healed.” Dan confirms. “As far as I can tell, the bruising is just color. I imagine that’s Venom’s doing?” Eddie nods. “Well, I approve. Makes my job easier.”

“Didn’t think you liked Venom.”

That earns him a shrug. “Well, my introduction to it –“

“Them.”

“-Was them eating your organs. Obviously, that’s not how they normally do things, so I’m okay with that.” Dan just rolls with the correction, and Eddie feels his respect for the man go up several notches. The doctor offers him an honest smile. “So, tell me what’s going on. I’m not much of a shrink, but maybe I can help.”

“Doubt it, but I wouldn’t mind talking.” Eddie admits. “The nightmares are back. I brought them back.”

“Your nightmares?”

“Venom’s. Although their nightmares trigger mine. Goes both ways.” Dan nods understanding. Eddie continues, voice starting to shake. “Ever since LIFE caught up with us – I think I broke something, Dan. I made Venom promise not to do anything, because I _knew_ if we fought back in any way LIFE would come down on us like a damned brick wall, and – “ He breaks off, looks down at his hands. 

Dan finishes what he can’t say. “You had to protect Venom. But they protect you.”

“Yeah.”

“And you think that broke something between you.”

“They’re having _nightmares,_ Dan. And now – they’ve been so quiet – what the hell else am I supposed to think?” His vision blurs as his eyes burn. For the first time in three days, Venom shifts, taking an interest in the proceedings. He closes his eyes and struggles to control the tears that threaten to fall.

Dan nods to himself. “Do you regret protecting Venom?”

“Hell no.” The answer is immediate, and Dan just smiles.

“So what part is actually bothering you? You can’t apologize for your actions. We all know you’d do it again in a heartbeat. You did what you believed was necessary, and I for one believe it was the right choice.” Eddie’s gaze snaps up to him, and Dan nods. “So what part of Venom’s reaction hurts so much?”

Eddie doesn’t have to think about that. The image of Anne giving him back the ring springs to mind – 

And Venom, watching the entire thing in silence, recoils like they’ve been slapped.

“I can’t fuck this up, Dan. Not this. They’re too important.”

Dan just reaches out and puts his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, a kind smile still on his face. “I really don’t think you have. I don’t know Venom quite the same way you do, but – dude, they killed one of their own species for you. I don’t think they’re gonna run for the hills because you want to keep them safe, too. Considering what little I know about them, I imagine they’ve never had someone who wanted to protect them.” With that, he stands up and packs his bag. Eddie watches him without moving from the couch.

It’s Eddie’s turn to feel like he’s been slapped. It’s not something he considered. “You lie. You are so totally a shrink.”

Dan laughs outright at that. “Just a good listener, that’s all.” He grins. “Don’t be a stranger, either of you.” He turns and leaves the apartment.

The smile fades from Eddie’s face as soon as the door closes. He sighs. “V – “

**You’re a dumbass.**

And suddenly he’s surrounded by the symbiote, inky flesh wrapping around him like a living weighted blanket, with Venom’s face right in his. The _relief_ at seeing them again would drop him if he wasn’t already sitting down. The stinging in his eyes is back with a vengeance. “Yeah, I am.”

Venom just stares at him. **“You scare me.”** The words sound stilted, and Eddie knows that, without the heat of an argument, the singular pronoun doesn’t come naturally. One day, he’ll ask about that. Today is not that day.

“Over-protectiveness is par for the course in human relationships.” he says weakly. “And I’ve always been one to overdo shit.”

Venom knows. Shit, but they know. There’s so much that Eddie seems to instinctively understand, but there’s so much more that Venom needs to tell him and doesn’t know how. How are they supposed to explain that Dan is more correct than they care to admit? 

Their entire purpose is to protect the swarm, to be _expendable_ to not matter because at any given moment, they might die for the greater good. It’s not a purpose they chose – they chose Eddie, and they’ve always known that Eddie does not see them that way, never has, but they’ve never let themself think on it too much.

Now they have no choice but to think, and well – it’s terrifying. 

“We’ll figure it out, V. We always do." 

He’s right. He usually is about these things. 

Venom presses their face against Eddie’s. **“This is new.”** they admit. **“Be patient. But understand – you are not to blame for any of this.”**

Eddie smiles as he lets his fingers tangle in the shadows that are Venom, as he lets the tears finally fall. “Thank you.” 


End file.
